The Little Words Mean the Most

I peed the driver's seat

unavoidable

the car is now parked in the sun

with all the windows open especially the moon roof

where guardian angels go to escape the noise and surprise moisture

 

Every guardian angel has to cover 1 million people

(Vatican doesn't comment)

In the US alone, that equates to 330 guardian angels

Worldwide, with 7 billion

the guardian angel factory is working overtime

 

6,730 guardian angels needed

documentary photos of heaven look bare

a couple of mannequins

all the locker doors flung open

like there was an emergency call to the field

 

Announcing June Fool's Day

 

June 1

 

 

Before the Internet

How-To books, hundreds of them

 

 

characters missing

missing in action: A and S ... wiped out by years of pounding. Coupla hairs on Q

Your keyboard?

 

 

What a mega-webby on donor newsletters looks like after 4+ hours of Q&A. Things get a little giddy. Three time zones represented on screen. Off screen: a planet's worth of time zones asking questions. We love you!!!!

Join us next time.

Please.

 

Reminiscing about "road warrior" days with Carol Wiseman

 

Ah, those days as a road warrior, not so long ago. Sleeping on a cot with hundreds of cotted others in the dim hallways of a completely shut-down O'Hare. It echoed the London Tube during the Blitz.

Not sure I miss 'em, those days. Don't regret 'em, though ... going cardio, sprinting in late middle-age through airports when your connection arrived late; that counts as a day's exercise. Who doesn't secretly swell with pride when, with 8.5 billion other people on the planet, your name's called on Atlanta's airport PA? "Passenger Thomas Ahern, the door's about to close." Snarling gate agents as the last thing heard on earth.

Or sleeping in a closet next to the vending-machine room (only space available in a motel) in boom (but small) town Odessa, TX; which smells strongly and lucratively of the town's chief export, oil. And what grounded us road warriors that day? Some bolt the pilots deemed essential fell off the plane as it was taxiing for takeoff. Disappointments don't get more sigh-y than that. If we could have voted? "We'll get a fresh bolt when we land." But, no....

Or flying home from a masterclass on the shores of Loch Ness just as the pandemic was about to swallow the world. You could hear the national borders snapping shut on our US-bound contrails.

 

Who told you this shit was easy?

My Las Vegas love....

As you say, "words are hard." And unexamined, place-holder, endlessly-repeated, jargon-ista words have the dangerous life-span of radioactive waste. "Well, they said it that way ... so we should say it that way, too!" Blah, blah, blah, etc.

The industry's been through this ... more than once. It's a BIG reason (IMHO) why average donor-comm performance (and US household giving) is in decline ... because new practice unwittingly copies bad practice.

My latest real-life example? A good, beloved, award-winning, life-saving nonprofit community hospital system that got ZERO response to a massive email appeal. Hey?!? Me, too! Been there, done that, once upon a time ... before I gulped down 2 decades of training re: "words are hard."

Who told you this shit was easy?

 

Is Flesch-Kincaid still relevant, Dawn asks a decade later

Dawn! HELLO!!!

Yes, the tool is still relevant ... more than ever ... I teach it all the time. It's called the Flesch-Kincaid calculator (after its co-founders).

Here's the URL:   https://goodcalculators.com/flesch-kincaid-calculator/

As I probably harped on back then, grade level is NOT about getting 6th-graders to make donations.

Grade level is exclusively about how fast and easily I (an adult who might make a gift) can comprehend what you're trying to tell me: a 6th-grade level is faster than an 8th-grade level is WAY faster than a 10th-grade level ... and if you're trying to shove 12th-grade writing down my throat, you better be buying me a hot-fudge sundae with 3 cherries on top. And a day in rehab.

12th-grade writing ceases to be of any use after the 12th grade (unless you want to be a peer-reviewed scientist or college professor). For the general public, it's an insult to our attention spans.

Flesch-Kincaid standards ripple through the User's Manuals on our sub fleet, where sailors with high-school diplomas tend nuclear reactors and drive the boats. The people at the wheel are 18 and 19 years old (under senior supervision, of course). Thank you, Flesch-Kincaid.
 
Without Flesch-Kincaid, what a mess we'd be in.

 

 

Road warriors swap tales: Carol Weisman, MSW, CSP and Tom

I think my personal best was flying out of a dinky airport in NY state (with an incredible snack selection, though; kudos), to speak in Green Bay, WI the next day and the Twin Cities the day after that. Keynote speaker at 3 National Philanthropy Days in 3 days. I don't remember much except running, dragging, buying snacks, speaking; repeat in reverse.

Not to mention the time my flight for Denver from Pittsburgh left 8 hours late due to a PA blizzard. The pilots bought pizza for every passenger who hadn't given up and gone home. They promised we'd leave; the final flight was a quarter full. Landed at dawn, got an invite to Denver's best Ethiopian restaurant from my cabbie, checked into the conference hotel for 1 hour's sleep, did the gig, checked out, went home; probably crashed for 24 hours.

Or how about that time my plane taxied for takeoff in Odessa, TX (which smells of oil ... literally; it's the "drill, baby, drill" capital of the world). The pilot suddenly got a bad dashboard light. He taxied back to the gate (I'd moved about 400 yards in total by that time, none of them in the air). And, lo, there wasn't a room to be had in town. The oil boom was so hot they were scouring the jails for employees. The airline was as helpful as could be. I think I slept that night alongside some hotel's vending machines.

Or, hey, that time in Winnipeg, when Simone forgot her passport ... and I had to present for both of us. Having spent years rebuffing her: "You know what you know. I know what I know. I don't have to know what you know, too. Just tell me what to do."

Or then there's O'Hare. O'Hare's special. It's in the middle of a continent. A super-hub. Weather conditions across North America effect O'Hare's arrivals and departures. What road warrior doesn't have a great O'Hare story? Like the time all flights were grounded ... and I snuggled into a dim hallway cot beneath a thin blanket at 3 AM. There were thousands of other passengers on cots under thin blankets stuffed in the halls, as far as the eye could see. O'Hare looked like the London Tube during the Blitz.

 

The issue was raised on LinkedIn....

 

Per Ben Miller, SVP of Data Science and Analytics, Bonterra...

Many nonprofits saw a surge of donations and donors during 2020 and 2021. Then in 2022 things started getting back to normal. Normal in this case is a declining donor pool for more than a decade. At the end of 2022 donors were 83% of what they were at the end of 2012.

Leading the charge, new donors have declined precipitously -18%. Plus it is more costly to get new donors.

His comments elicited a strong response from fundraisers internationally. My small contribution to the mob:

Like many of you in the FEP [Fundraising Effectiveness Project] family, I can speak from different perspectives: practitioner trying to raise money, new donor, monthly donor, major donor. And I now wonder if the 10% "decline" in US donors is something similar to climate change. >> I.e., physics; natural forces normally readjusting, in other words. ¶ I'm rushing off to lunch, so I can't check my data immediately. But it's my understanding that the # of nonprofits in the US alone has something like doubled in the past 15-20 years. ¶ Then you have John Lepp's recent anecdotal reporting on how slammed his mother-in-law's mailbox is every year ... more than 500 items coming in and ONLY one was a thank you to generous Dale. ¶ What is the sum of the research done by Dr.s Jen Shang and Adrian Sargeant at their Institute for Sustainable Philanthropy? In my non-academic interpretation: "When you like your donors, they'll like you back. And they'll express that through more giving and by sticking around." ¶ THE COMPLETE DONOR.... Interesting idea, Benjamin Mohler and Andrew Polter.

love bunnies...