The Little Words Mean the Most

Ashley & Amy's new chair, made cat-claw-proof (once felines learn to read and obey); creepy Roger Williams; Andrée Joy-Ox

Thinking of creating my own family focus-group for charity

 

It will be voluntary. You just need about a dozen.

One or two live in mansions. Most are upper middle-class (the prospering children of immigrants). Some still make their way (been there). Some maybe have lost their way (been there and I hope back). Some are young and unafraid (WISH I were there again; now I'm just tired; tired with opportunities, though).

To this fantasy focus group:

What do YOU give away each year?

In the year before Sim One died, our household gave away to charity $125K+. It was a good year financially, for one thing. We had no heirs. Got a big one-time bonus from a software firm. Other benefits converged.

A family recipe I tasted at Thanksgiving in 2022? (Corn drowning in cream, savories and bacon.)

What else might YOU give away over time ... over years ... over and over ... wisdom, knowledge, promise, belief?

Money is not the first responder ... though it's hugely helpful; don't get me wrong!

Personally, I give to express gratitude. Befuddled gratitude. I've had my toes in water dragging me out to sea. Alice's husband Bob's ashes coated my face (ask cousin Johnny; we shared tales).

And still, GIVING to CHARITY: I need a stiff reason.

There are no absolutes. There are no perfect triggers.

 

Spent a delicious Thanksgiving meal with my side of the family

 

All senses GO!

Journal Entry by Tom Ahern — 40 minutes ago

Thank you Linda Ray Carl Amy Johnny Ben Chris Maria sister Alice

We talked about Sim One many times.

My side of the family is seriously brilliant in various ways ... but I drifted apart and they hardly knew ye, Simone.

Today, we talked a lot about ALL the missing: parents and so.

Simone was AT this table. She would have ADORED the dessert choices ... and the people surrounding them, with serving knives in hand.

Giving thanks ... especially you, the family gatherers, Linda and Ray.

And cousin Johnnie: I learned so much today from you.

And Alice: Old Faithful, with boundless respect (only hope I can keep up.)

Yeah, Johnnie, go to Scotland

 

 

Ad writers talk ad writing

This post reminds me of the difference between my writing before and after learning about the hero's journey and its applicability to the writing of novels and screenplays. Before, the blank page was my rotten oyster. Afterwards, my concerted words came up smelling like roses. I think there's a fallacy where people think of creativity as the ability to come up with something different... when really the kind of creativity that is actually valued is the kind that produces works that are sufficiently familiar and pleasingly novel. That requires a starting point, an understanding of story structure or similar, a knowledge of where the edges are so that you can use the whole canvas, where the lines are so that you can use the whole field — without going too far and wasting your time coloring or playing out of bounds where it's unproductive and annoying.

So true.

 

I think of likely-to-work advertising (which, of course, includes direct-mail fundraising appeals) as "comfort food with a twist."

 

You know enough to feel safe (ah, mac and cheese, my lover).

 

And then the twist sparks your curiosity and your later word-of-mouth (ah, mac and cheese ... but this time with rosettes of blue-cheese-bacon and a few dried shiitake mushrooms for crunch, framed by a fresh spinach-leaf necklace: to bring on the virtue --- "OMG!!!!! I have to tell you what I had for lunch...").

 

love to all in IL

 

~ tom

 

 

 

Visitors to PVD

 

Downtown Providence, RI is pretty interesting, actually.

You can see, via the merchants, the influence of the RI School of Design (aka RISD: Riz-Dee; also considered the world's greatest design school; and the resulting heavy concentration of artists) + the influence of Johnson & Wales (a global culinary institute; headquartered in Providence) + the strong ethnic influence: RI has always been an immigrant state; every wave hit here hard ... the latest are Latin-American and African and the occasional Ukrainian. Ethnic dining options abound, as a result.

Brown is on the top of a very steep hill. Your elders will be panting. Compulsive pickle-ball players will not.

There is a gentler way, though. Let me be your guide? I know the softer route.

And though I'm no academic, I'm probably slightly better than a new-ish cab driver (with all due respect). Maybe I can fill in some blanks. Since I've lived in RI since 1965. Since I read local history for pleasure. Since I've worked with all sorts of charities hereabouts ... including the state's foremost Indigenous-led museum (see case brochure attached; I wrote it ... and it only took a year and half to beat my white-man's preconceptions out of it).

I promise to stick to the truth, as I know it.

We'll take in downtown murals (big here). Wander across the new pedestrian bridge (named for a one-time client; lands you at Plant City, BTW). Up super-funky Wickenden Street; along the waterfront a bit maybe. Then into the Brown area, which is historic, vibrant, architectural, thought-provoking (some of the Brown family's wealth was built on the slave trade, which was legal at the time; it's gets complicated, since another Brown brother was a devote Quaker abolitionist). THEN downhill (the right direction for those who pant) through RISD.

Oh, yeah: America's industrial revolution started on these very rivers, the ones you'll be crossing. What are now pricey lofts and condominiums upstream were once factories making STUFF. A blatant, infamous act of industrial espionage got the whole thing rolling.

 

Or this ...

 

Fill in your own blanks on those two. My puzzle's full.

Here: Dear though left-behind clumsy through-NO [really]-fault-of-your-own-spouse-mates like me:

            ... here's a SOUR advisory to suck on.

Once your (my) devastating beloved passed, her flesh simmers off, her bones bubble to the surface and they too pass, you'll maybe wish that you had NOT rolled your eyes in certain constrained company, signaling a colleague, pal o' mine.

            If ... she wants to tell the same family story a dozen times, chip in.

            If ... she wants to establish a family legend, yes, yes, yes, yes! Whose ears care, who cares?!? You've heard it so many times it would peel paint from the Fifties.... You've heard it across 5 generations, sober and disappointed. So FUCKING what?

            My advice:

            Don a masque. Then firmly shut up.

            Because that's your best contribution to her/his/their story. By far: shut up ... or splurge. Save everything you want to say for after.

            Something happens. It takes a while.

            Your job my dear reader is to be — in your true love's life — that while.

            Welcome. It's hard.

            Silence comes slowly. Don't look to me for guidance. Can't tell much of a story. I'm the anointed weakling, with Simone in so many dressing rooms; equipped with a pen and a handy notebook. Observing with respect. I'd become "Her Tommy." She'd spin in and out. I'd admire & declare; we'd dream ... over and over and over and over.

            My memories fade too.

            Astonishing Grand Canyon-deep regrets when Simone stepped finally off-stage.

            Intubated. YES!

            Oxygen driven down her throat.

            I said no. stop No more.

            Deceased within three days.

            I am the piece of shit who pulled Simone's plug

            We'd agreed of course so often on so many hikes

 

response to an inquirer, about me speaking at a conference for private schools in February 2023

 

[continuing]

 

The year before the pandemic, I presented 36 times, mostly in person, around the world. On an airplane every few weeks. Now I am sorely out of practice with the travel side of things. (Which end of the suitcase is up?)

 

I've delivered since a heavy schedule of webinars ... and that brings me to a suggestion ...

 

I've done many presentations (including internationally) through Zoom.

 

I don't charge for these shows. I do them from my home office. There's no fee. There's no expense. Volunteering seems right during these plague years. Plus I've learned from hundreds of mentors ... so this is a golden chance to pay some of that forward.

 

If you choose this alternative....

 

The host (YOU; or at least The Inn @....) deals with technical details ... and I simply show up on screen with my PowerPoint incantations. Maybe there's a quick rehearsal ahead of time, just to make sure the AV works.

 

I did one of these for arts groups across Australia just last week.

 

I did one for US Orthodox rabbis nationwide the week before that.

 

Today, I did one for a fabulous US human services charity with many state affiliates ... a few minutes ago.

 

Webinars are pretty painless (as long as you stick with proven providers like Zoom).

 

Your event sounds interesting. Over my long career, I've worked with a number of private schools....

 

The last time I did an in-person speaking gig exclusively for privates was exactly a decade ago, for CASE-NAIS. It was also in February. It was preceded by a blizzard at the departure airport. I landed (finally) in Denver at 5 AM, speaking at 9 AM. Had a long chat with my born-in-Ethiopia cab driver (it's a drive; the Denver airport is over the curve of the earth from the city itself).

 

He vowed to take me to the city's best Ethiopian restaurant. I never cashed that promise in, alas. I like food experiences. I don't recall if I ever saw a hotel room.

 

Anyway, just a thought. Me coming into a roomful of your attendees via Zoom; almost-disastrous Denver was ALSO in February. Zoom saves you money. Saves you worry. In February, it may be more dependable, travel-wise.

 

To a client who'd requested a short bio

 

My brief official bio goes something like this ... at the moment:

In 2016, the New York Times called Tom Ahern "one of America’s most sought-after creators of fund-raising messages." In 2021, author and respected legacy expert, Richard Radcliffe, said: "Tom Ahern is possibly the greatest non-profit copywriter on the planet." Tom's recent cases range from massive campaigns with a $1 billion goal to local community chests hoping to raise small amounts. He has authored 7 highly-rated how-to books on donor communications. He speaks internationally. During the pandemic, he collaborated with the Institute for Sustainable Philanthropy (UK) to devise a best-selling online course for charity copywriting.

Client responds to my bio:

Perfect! Shameless if it is true!

Me:

 

Yeah, it's true. I have more credentials and achievements than a porcupine has quills. NOT to brag ... because it was mostly about clients agreeing, "We're getting out of your way. Do what you think is best." Then we BOTH succeeded ... because EASY gains were just sitting there on the table, ready to be plucked.

 

Typically, my partners and I have more lay-psychology training than our nonprofit clients. Which meant THEY were guessing ... and we were only SEMI-guessing. We felt (knew-ish!) we could maybe reliably extract more money from their supporter base ... as long as clients allowed our uninhibited appeals and such to go free-range.

 

No mysteries. No magic.

 

Our confidence came from neuroscience; other recent research. A lot has changed in fundraising since the 1990s. NOT because of shiny new things ... but because we understand donor behavior MUCH better now.

 

love mushrooms

 

~ tom

 

 

Post US midterm election day: IMO

To quote Aaron Blake, columnist in The Washington Post (thank you, Jeff B.):

Should Republicans fail to pick up one seat in the Senate (the gain they need to flip it), it would be just the seventh time the opposition party has failed to do so in a midterm over the past 100 years. And the average gain for the opposition party in House races over the past 100 years is 29 seats, which Republicans won’t match.

Analyst Blake is talking about a CENTURY of precedent. This was a hundred-year political storm. Not because the Dems were so right ... but because, IMO, the GOP Trumpstarts were so wrong.

In other words (one more IMO): this was NOT a referendum on the White House, the party in power, the sloshing economy. This, IMO, was a referendum on the crazy shit ... and Republican extremist-manipulators were told NO! Go back to your caves.

You can't govern 330 million people without intense respect for diversity and change and compromise. Not true: maybe you CAN govern VAST #s ... if you're a totalitarian regime. I've consulted since with a couple of successful international political operatives. They agreed: about 35% of the voting populace always PREFERs an authoritarian, dictatorial, beggar-off Jews. Hitting back???<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>?;

8-ummm or less????

[translated into Icelandish] judt er=tell me ehrtr to csrtpkeom or dohot, sf err y=to bury my fhifrem.

Well, we'll see.

 

On US election day, Nov. 8, 2022, a dear friend...

 

... who's voted for Donald Trump twice

... will drive us both to Foster RI's local polling station

... and we will vote: dutifully, faithfully, our best; marking our secret ballots

... opposite ends, for adequate reasons

... and go hiking again next week together

... with deep respect & love, whatever happens