The Little Words Mean the Most

I’m at my lonely mailbox

I lift out today’s incoming small pile. Expectations are low. Bills … the rest.

Most attempt to hijack my attention. Discarded without a second thought, not even a smile. A tired smirk. "Nice try." Predictable. How stupid do you think I am? (VERY, obviously.) Carelessly arrogant, too (not me; you).

YET one thing in YOUR appeal, just today, has caught my eye.

One thing you've said hooks an exposed, not-too-cautious corner of my heart?... and leads me maybe maybe maybe to YES?

[working on a new show]

 

Reply to France, in the aftermath of Roe v. Wade

 

Oh, Jean-Claude. It's come to that ... for now.

 

But it's not a 50/50 proposition on abortion rights. A sturdy majority (61%) supports those rights in poll after poll. Roe v. Wade was around for almost 50 years ... people (like me) took it for granted, assuming it would always be there.

 

Simone never did.

 

If Simone were here, she'd be going back to war. I'm here in her place, as a meager surrogate. A pro-abortion, pro-women group in Indiana (Mike Pence's home state; a very "red" [conservative] state) got in touch and asked me to help them with messaging.

 

The executive director is a Muslim mom of 3 ... and a professional political operative. I volunteered immediately ... and we're starting to go at it, hammer and tongs.

 

As for the authoritarian-regime longings of Americans, I suspect that's going to be erased eventually, election by election, as the demographics swing less and less in favor of a white majority. Diversity is an incredible asset for a nation. It was one of the most comforting cultural aspects of living in Rhode Island: we live in a state built by immigrants, wave after wave, generation after generation, movement after movement. When I sat on stage to accept Simone's posthumous doctorate from Rhode Island College, I must have seen graduates from 20 countries sweep proudly across stage, with their families cheering!

 

Equally thrilling: some of America is seriously discussing "reparations" ... because so much of the nation's wealth was built on the backs of slaves.

 

Here in Rhode Island, more than a third of the state legislature is now female ... which WAS the chief goal of the Women's Fund Simone founded: gender diversity at the top governing level.

 

As you know, my lovely mate/companion/prize/miracle [Simone] was a bit of a pessimist [synonym: realist? Georges had strongly shaped her belief system].

 

And with the Roe v. Wade decision by the Supreme Court, it turns out she was RIGHT to be pessimistic.

 

Despite the gloom that currently shrouds me, having lost her to a disease that today's medicine can only shrug at, I'm a bit of an optimist. (Or maybe just a lazy, wishful day-dreamer?)

 

I see a chance with this Roe v. Wade decision to awaken a surge of outrage... as happened with the 2016 presidential elections in the U.S.: when money poured into "liberal" [human rights] causes >>> unbelievable amounts of money, cascades of cash, spontaneously, unsolicited. And money buys power ... because (in the U.S.) money buys election results, for good or evil.

 

Here's my final comment:

 

Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and Fab (and Toma!) and all the things we did together for decades. I can smell the pine needles from our hikes. I can see the wonders of France you brought our way. I can relive every meal, home-cooked with love or served in a fancy-pants restaurant.

 

Please know how much I love you.

 

~ tom

Sim One got it absolutely right. Me? Absolutely wrong...

 

[June 24, 2022] This morning's lead headline in the Boston Globe:

Supreme Court overturns Roe v. Wade, allowing states to ban abortions

Simone -- who served with distinction as the board chair for Planned Parenthood of Southern New England; who founded the Women's Fund of RI, a political advocacy effort -- often predicted today's headline.

She was convinced this day would come.

She knew in her guts that the fight for women's bodily rights wasn't over.  I'd try to reassure her. Because I didn't feel the issue the way she felt the issue. I was a blithe optimist, doing that manly rational thing. She was a skeptic.

I didn't see how a hard-won freedom that had been around for nearly 50 years could be yanked away ... in a nation of 330 million ... by 5 justices, 4 of them men, 3 of them Trump appointees ... during a time when a heavy majority of Americans (61%; 201 million) said they "support abortion rights," including a third of Republicans.

 

I was wrong. I'm talking to you, Sim One, up in your Existentialist heaven: I was dead wrong and you were SO right.

 

And now the fight for a woman's right to own her body begins again.

 

You know what would solve the problem for ALL TIME? For boys entering puberty to have forced (but reversible) vasectomies. They can still ejaculate. They just can't impregnate ... until some day when maybe they want kids.

 

Planned Parenthood is called that for a reason. Because UNPLANNED parenthood ... toss the dice.

 

Getting to gratitude: There are 2 ways to say it

 

I wish you were here

same place my love? same grand central? same eye contact?

same grimace, doubt, assurance, you make me, i make you

 

so yeah too: wish I weren't here

not without you making sense of it for me and ours

 

wish you were here every day EVRY hour

EVRY glance glimpse everywhere I now look

"us compiled" for 37 years on walls in closets

 

you drilled into me thanks

thank Jane thank Georges thank your family's kitchen drill team

thank your intolerably miraculous siblings, mates, Fab, J-C, Toma

an exploding map of love pressed across so many cultures

 

well done, with a sloppy side of gratitude

many times today

and tomorrow unknown

there's hope

there's no hope

there's

 

 

Hey, you trust Tom Hanks, right?

 

Tom Hanks Explains It All (NY Times):

"Look, there’s plenty of reason to be demoralized. Goodness is not a constant, and the good fight is not always fought, but there is a strength and a resiliency and an eventuality to vox populi. There are events that shake up those Americans who still believe there is a right way to do things. It’s the Peter Finch moment: I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore. Now, a certain administration came down the pike, and the people who were screaming seemed to rule the day. Why? Because the people who cared about what’s right didn’t show up. Well, something egregious enough comes along, and guess what? People will show up."

Please VOTE. Everyone who can: VOTE in 2022, no matter your politics.
Don't let extremists on either side steal the mid-terms because you couldn't be bothered. There's some cold pizza in the fridge. Go vote. Hope a hope a hope

 

The same objection arises ... has for decades

 

File under: Puppies and kittens

There's always push back, from arts groups for instance. "But we don't have starving children ... or puppies and kittens! How can we raise money?" Give targeted donors (i.e., arts lovers) a great problem to solve (i.e., we need more art locally) ... and you're in high clover!

The end

 

I have 2 prom-night novels

 

one has robots

one has Darwin stomping on stage

demanding the mic

to explode across the stars

useless f***

OR the best theory wins

Darwin's pronoun: THEY

 

 

It's noon on Sunday and I've consumed chardonnay past my limit....

 

But I had a job this afternoon. It seemed worth the wine risk. Trying to raise (min.) $150 million for an international charity that needs a much bigger endowment.

Mostly, though? Hello, my dear Sim One.

This is what we did together, my sweet. 7 days a week. For 37 years.

A charity has a bit of a roadblock.

Simone dealt with the high-level, cultural, political, governance stuff. ("humans!!!!")

I tried to handle without diplomacy donor comms' tactics.  "Do this. Do that."

With good vibes >>> lovely stuff happened. Sim One and I were a grilled cheese sandwich with 3 local cheeses and farmer's market heirloom tomatoes on a crispy sourdough bread. We hoped it worked somehow.

Did. Sometimes. Not always.

 

Sim One, I'm talking to you on this evening of June 10, 2022

 

It's been more than a year since you rolled from our bed complaining of a headache

and pretty much died right there on a carpet we'd bought together. The ambulance arrived in due course.

That was you next: the worst you ever.

I didn't know what to do after you left.

Pay bills. Keep systems running. Moving forward seemed wrong but must do. Maybe just lonely.

The world used to be proms and graduations and children and fitting in and marriage and living together.

Maybe.

You never felt you fit in; proud of it! Me neither; not proud. Deliriously happy to share your misfit.

We had each other for 37 years.

 

Where are we?

 

Delivered a routine-ish, newly updated "back to basics" webinar today re: effective [lucrative] donor newsletters

... to fundraisers in 8 countries, 36 US states, 8 Canadian provinces. Using examples of stuff that worked from 2007 to 2022.

That took 1.5 hours.

Then we offered unlimited Q&A.

That ran relentlessly for 2.5 hours before we emptied the bin. It was heavenly.

THRILLED to try to help, for 2; for Sim One and her trusted companion, "her Tommy."

BUT people seem to have a lot of questions.....

So where are we?