ABOVE: our dear friend Joel, a Wilton Manors resident, costumed for "the Island City's" 2021 Halloween parade
Joel is a looooongtime intimate. He did Simone's hair — then mine — for decades. His was a salon in the old sense: a place where certain people came to share personalities, gossip, ideas. And left feeling beautiful.
I went for the haircuts initially. I stayed over the years for the authenticity, the warmth, the philosophy. In his 2-chair shop, Joel (and his delightful biz partner, Mario) created a tolerance zone. (They even tolerated me!) Joel is special: a survivor, a person of steadfast faith who cares hard, a distinguished observer of the human condition.
In 2004, Rhode Island Monthly, the state's fancy-pants lifestyle magazine, published an article I'd researched and written titled "Welcome to the Neighborhood." The lead? "A new study of the local gay community finds wealth, high volunteerism and a bent for churchgoing. And while life isn't always a walk on the beach, it turns out Rhode Island is a pretty good place to be if you're gay."
Joel and his partner, Allan, were two of my key informants.
Still, times in 2004 being still a bit "behind the," we did the precautionary thing and changed their names and some other identifiers in that article. Now, we wouldn't bother.
In the last half-decade, Joel and Allan fully retired south from Rhode Island to paradise: Wilton Manors, FL.
Based on the 2010 Census, Wilton Manors proudly bills itself as America's "2nd gayest city." (And, of course, now you'll want to know, just in case you're on Jeopardy and the question comes up: "What's the 1st gayest city in America?" I don't know. Joel didn't know, either.)
What he told me was that 60% of Wilton Manors, FL residents identify as gay. And, therefore, conspicuously fabulous? The photo below is of a prize-winning costume at the city's 2021 Halloween Parade, which attracts a crowd. That Georgian wig is made of toilet-paper rolls.
Joel volunteers at Ronnie Larson Presents, a small, outrageous, thought-provoking, thought-providing nonprofit theatre in Wilton Manors. Ronnie Larson Presents devotes its stage to LGBT entertainment, as does its next-door theatre, POW! (Plays of Wilton!)
Seeking extra credit?
Read below the opening paragraphs of the article Joel inspired [and please read below with your very best "woke" tolerance: what was written in 2004 is NOT what 2021 would write]:
Are you a lesbian? Take this simple test.
Hold up one hand.
Look at your ring finger and your index finger.
If you're a straight woman, both fingers will probably be the same length.
If you're a lesbian, your ring finger will likely be longer, as it typically would be for a man.
So the BBC reported in March 2000, following up some UC Berkeley research on how male hormones in the womb determine gender orientation. The reaction was swift and merciless.
The "your behavior is an abomination to god" crowd saw this as a further effort to push the biological view of homosexuality, a view that says love between two members of the same sex happens thanks to chemicals or genes or both. Inevitable, in other words. Unavoidable. It can be a comforting view: "That's jes the way god made me, so deal with it, you ignorant bigot."
Groups like the Family Research Council, "Defending Family, Faith, and Freedom," aren't having any. They say, "Using 'biology' as a stamp of legitimacy, homosexual activists have pushed for special rights, from sex-partner subsidies to 'gay marriage' to adoption. There is no scientific evidence to support such claims, and it is wrong and dangerously misleading to say that people are born homosexual and cannot change."
Scientists remain determined. They believe they have isolated the Gay Gene in some species (oh, yes, other animals have same-sex relationships). Not yet in humans, though. For now, the "nature vs. nurture" debate still has plenty of gas in the tank.
The notion of a Gay Gene is not universally loved among the gay community, you might be surprised to learn. There are some who wonder, if tests exist for a Gay Gene, might parents who abhor homosexuality choose to terminate the pregnancy, maybe on the excuse that it would be "better for the child's sake"?
Paranoid? Sure. But it wouldn't be the first time in history that gays were in some way singled out for extinction. Sixty years ago the Nazis wanted homosexuals out of the gene pool and shipped them to the death camps.