The Little Words Mean the Most

In grit we trust

 

in hate we don't

 

 

To my case client:

 

I am your "promiser in residence." I will say the words you don't dare.

Storm Henri, you bastard child of our suffering planet, look at the outages you've caused

Connecticut Rhode Island

 

From a certain UK-based guru (the real kind, not the self-ordained)

 

... you are in my thoughts and I wanted you to know there is a real stand-out quote of yours I use everywhere:

“baby boomers are the largest cohort of potential donors ever seen on earth… so DO continue to stereotypically insult them. It makes it so much easier to see which charities are idiots....”

So many charities are STILL treating BBs as idiots, this good, wise, seasoned, long-suffering star-quality-successful guru rummaged on ....

 

Simone's special 2020 message to me, on our anniversary and my birthday

 

August 3, 2020

Happy birthday and happy anniversary

To my dearest most special Tommy ... Husband. Lover. Best friend. Exercise pal. Book pal. France pal. Yard pal. And and and ...

I love you.

And I'm so sorry for what I've become. Chat with counselor today. More and more understanding of how fucked up I was in my youth and how it affects today and and and ...

Nothing new. Nothing special.

But I don't want you to leave me. And I don't plan on leaving you through any manner.

I'd go to a depression program at Butler [mental hospital] before I'd leave you.

Do you realize how special you are? From your silliness to your head petting to your reminding us to meditate and exercise.

My pride in you and me for the work we've done for the philanthropic sector. My pride in your book about your dad and the war and ...

My respect for you.

My happiness that you love France so much. The kindness you gave Grandma Jane. Your fun with other members of my family.

Together.

You and me.

I love you.

 

To believe or NOT believe this statement from Senator Sheldon Whitehouse

 

What he emailed me and other supporters:

Right now, I’m pushing for bold climate policies that will help stop rising temperatures and sea levels, but the fossil fuel lobby and its phony front groups are fighting me every step of the way.

 

OK, I'm a copywriter. Well trained. One of the best, according to one fundraising guru. Therefore, I know what every word in the above statement is poised to achieve. What each phrase is supposed to do to incite action in the target audience brain.

And I tripped over "bold" climate policies.

Couldn't believe from that point on.

This US Senator Sheldon Whitehouse character wrote a terrific book a few years ago, taking on dark money in Washington; I skimmed it while I waited for Sim One to endure yet another test.

Yet Senator Whitehouse steadfastly won't quit his exclusive Newport, RI club, one that apparently remains "whites only."

So is he really BOLD? Or is he "BOLD-DEPENDING"? Depending on what I can sell vs. what's good for me?

I dunno. Maybe that exclusive club is where his election money rises with each day's tides. Fair-ish enough, then; plus it's a family legacy thing for Sheldon, part of his pedigree (like a well-bred dog): if so, Senator Sheldon, instead back reform on election funding ... and PUSH it through this time. No more waffles for breakfast.

 

Thank you for asking about the indignities, Mag: Today's colonoscopy

 

Mag...

 

... what's undignified about a team of crack medical pros wondering why a male's buttocks grow so hairy ... then the meat object of their attentions floats away on an anesthesia yacht ... then (but you have no idea) comes the probe, with a camera and clippers ... and then you awake after a wonderful dream I can't recall and wish to return to as a brisk young nurse leans over me, demanding that I and all her other patients "pass the gas"? ¶ It's that kind of place. Then Ashley B. drives me home; she's dubbed me her "fundraising father," a minor trophy alongside her bio-dad.

 

went well actually. No obvious problems. Couple of polyps (same as last time). Next time is either 3 or 5 years off, depending on what the biopsies show.

 

You, my dear friend, are lovely to ask. More "the best brownies this side of Mars" some day. My freezer's out.

 

~ tom

 

 

Look @ what Christal and David commissioned to honour Simone; "Oh, yeah: my girl's a poster!"

 

art by Kristie Ryder @poppermostprints

What Christal wrote: "Simone was such a powerful force since WCFC's inception - that we just want to do our best to honour her and you and do something I think she would approve of." The Western Canada Fundraising Conference has a huge personality, the brainchild of the inflexibly wonderful Christal Pshyk and David Kravinchuk.

Fab photo on which this fab poster is based: shot by Connie Grosch, 2016, for the RI Foundation. > IMHO: "This is by far the best, most evocative recent photo of Simone. It captures everything about her."

 

Ashley re: responding

 

Ashley's rule of thumb

for responding to such things/emotionally charged situations is

 

 

T.H.I.N.K.

Is it thoughtful?

Is it honest?

Is it intelligent?

Is it necessary?

Is it kind?

 

What Sim One told her BFF Doris

 

Earlier that day, Simone had shared breakfast with Doris, most trusted of our trusted advisors: both data geek and wise grandmother. Doris' parents escaped Nazi Germany in time. Her own children married liberally. Her grandchildren are multi-cultural and thriving.

         Today, Doris asked Simone openly, as true-blue friends do: "How are you really feeling?"

         Sim One chose to answer honestly; as one does with Doris, who has seen and measured it all:

       "Sad and scared. All the time."

         And thank whatever, Simone shared that same honest answer with me at Kim's, kicking around hair debris on a well-swept floor.

---

If you just felt a big fucking nudge right now?

         Welcome to our story. A duet. That big fucking nudge you maybe felt was my "complacency rudder" getting a swift, hard kick in the right direction. Now I knew for sure, from the horse's mouth, from Sim One's mouth with her pretty teeth: things would now change maybe daily in our nest, at an unpredictable pace.

         Define "disruption"? Things will change for an old married couple with trenches and grooves and ruts and places and dreams and ambitions and the undone that needs doing....

---

We are a household, a couple, a marriage, a pair, a unit, a joint intellectual enterprise, a professional team who speak internationally as salt and pepper (different topics entirely).

         And now we are in slewing disruption.

         You can assume, "We each have our roles. I'll do mine. She'll do hers."

         You can assume, because you're not as rigid as some last-generation deformity-conformity, "Explain. Ears ready." My Sim One encourages everyone, especially the newest.

         You can assume that this monstrosity in our hands as of 2021 is fundraising 101: "Revolution now ... and we all and should hate the rich."

---

You can also leave.

         Because "hating the rich" is a trash proposition by failed fundraisers.

         You can also leave because you've failed Simone, who took this very seriously and you don't....

         And you're irrelevant to her hard-earned legacy.