If I [internally depised fundraiser] COULD raise more philanthropy, then maybe you - wonderful, pure, impeccable, unblemished, decent, far-seeing, spotless, uncompromised, flawless, thoughtful, insightful, inspired, valiant, good-smelling, narcissistic, self-referential, self-congratulatory, remarkably ignorant and intolerant and untrained (did I say that, too?) - staff ~ WOULD YOU do MORE of your great mission?