I've been introduced. Standing there. New audience. Staff at a monster-good nonprofit. Confident audience ("Hey, I work in NYC."). But still too f.ing polite.
Break the silence. "What do you know about me? I'm a donor."
Them. Hesitancy. Staring. Wish to say something. Don't want to be wrong. Brains screaming, "Tell me the boundaries?!"
So I say, "I'm overweight. Yes, I am. My house actually has mirrors. I'm fat ... like more than 50% of Americans. Skinny is the new minority. If your donors were all fat, which more than half are, would that bother you? You see what I'm saying. So I'm fat ... but then that makes me a verified trend. By the way: there is a nicer way to say 'you're fat' to your dearest friends: 'Maybe you're just too short for your weight.' I learn so much from my local NPR radio station, WGBH. Thank you! & yes, we give."
Look around: OK, now the audience gets it. Though still hesitant. ("Everyone says this beer is good but should I take a chance?")
Note to self: Until you get people working on some problem, there's no energy in the room.
Let's just plod a bit further.
I say, with hand gestures. "You can see I'm not stylish." Finally: couple of quick, cheerful nods.
"I wear fat clothes. Dark clothes, drapes to cover my belly. Until I got married ... ooh, warning footnote there ... I was slender as a reed. Now I'm slender as a 55-gallon drum. Simone has chosen not to say a thing about my weight gain throughout our marriage, which has lasted 31 years. In her kindness, she pretends to be fat in this place or that. And she's not."
We're getting there. I see minds escape the prisons of being kind and respectful and polite and neutral. You don't have to pretend the fat are skinny. You don't have to pretend the old are young. You don't have to pretend.
Perfect. NOW we can critique.
"I'm old. You'll be old too someday. When did that become a stamp of uselessness? The old are in their f.ing prime! They've seen every clusterf*ck you can possibly imagine." That's a first draft. I probably should trim the expletives deleted.
"You know what's great about being old? You really no longer give a shit about so many things. Minor things like your appearance drift off into space. 'Why did I care about that?' Of course, good hygiene makes friends. Do keep that in mind when you get that age. Talking personally here."