I've always found it relaxing to know that a case doesn't make or break the campaign. A worthy, well-fought capital campaign will make goal, whether the case is good, bad, or indifferent. A bad case will not kill a good campaign.
And yours, of course, is not a bad case. Far from it!!!
It's a beautiful, strongly fronted case, well laid out for easy skimming. It drips personality. It brings the reader into the surprising lives of those who depend on food banks to make ends meet. It is clear and focused. It is a pleasure to look through. The photography is a visual treat.
This case is a good, solidly argued case, and it can be published as is, in my opinion. I'd be proud to hold this case in my hand, if I were making a solicitation call.
But....
You said you wanted to include the donor in the piece. Good. You can't do it in the body copy, though, because nobody much reads that far or deep, so almost no one ever gets the message.
Key messages about donor love, about the power of the donor to help make something wonderful happen, need to be in the headlines and other high-value locations like pull quotes. The places where eyeballs linger.
You have nicely typeset headlines. But the story they're telling isn't very interesting. It describes the scope of the problem. You're trying to argue the need for charity by pushing across facts. Data in. Dollars out. Doesn't work. That's a case you make to legislators, not to individual donors. Donors are not policy wonks.
Donors want to write themselves into a story about how they helped. A story that will run in their heads many times. I don't see that story in this case. I see a case about a problem. A case about an organization. And zero about donors, because if it isn't in the big type, it might as well not exist. To the skimmer. Which is all of us.
Even marketing's most reliable hook — the word "you" — is AWOL. This is a case that thinks it's a fact sheet, when it needs to be a sales brochure that tells donors how wonderful they'll feel when they give.
But as I say, your campaign will succeed. And your case will make a great first impression.